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війна драматургія п'єса сучасна українська драматургія

Моноп’єса Володимира Сердюка “Чи я застарий для війни?”

DAMN AGEISM

Старий АКМ
Old AKM

DAMN AGEISM ACTUALLY

Now I know what this is.

I stand in line at the Territorial Defence local office.

OFFICER: – Next!!!

ME: – … … …

OFFICER: – Sir..?

ME: – What?!!

OFFICER: – You are next.

ME: – Oh, yeah… Do you enlist Veterans for the Active Service here?

OFFICER: – Yes, Sir. What is your Rank?

ME: – Senior Sergeant.

Officer: – Military Specialization?

ME: – ADS.- What..?

OFFICER: – Air Defense Systems.

ME: – All right.

OFFICER: – What is your age?

ME: – In my Military ID, there is a line mentioning which Weapon I mastered.

OFFICER: – What is Your Age, precise?

ME: – Sixty-five. SexTY Five, you know.

OFFICER: – With all my respect, Sir, you would better relax at home at this age.

ME: – I am a good Veteran.

OFFICER: – Not these days, Sir.

ME: – Damn. If you happened to be at Yellow River in the year nineteen seventy-four – I could show you I am a Hot Shot!

OFFICER: – I was not even born then.

ME: – Yippy..!

OFFICER:– Control yourself, Sir.

ME: – I did not say anything obscene!

Officer: – Except yippy.

ME: – Mean, you dancing boogie with your greasy cock shaking on your head.

Officer: – Sounds offensive, Sir.

ME: – Not at all. We usually looked like that those years.

OFFICER: – I see, it was in the times of Pyramid Trousers.

ME: – No. It was in the times of bell-shaped handmade trousers.

OFFICER: – We have no Yellow River in this Country, by the way.

ME: – It flows there overseas.

OFFICER: – Excuse me, Sir, the modern Army can go without you.

ME:– Why?

OFFICER: – Because if I do not understand you, I don’t believe the other soldiers will understand you.

ME: – So..?

OFFICER: – It will be kinda problem communicating with you in the fields, I suppose.

ME: – Means, you will not give me even a rusty AK-47..?

OFFICER: – No, Sir.

ME: – I could…

OFFICER: – Next, please!

The line of Men took a step forward. I have not been pushed away from the office. I left voluntarily making my steps aside and went out.

That was the second day of the Russian Military Invasion, February 25, 2022. Kyiv, Ukraine/

Outside the office, there was another Veteran much older than me. He was trying to mount his bicycle and fell down. I helped him back to his feet and offered him my «Каптопрес-Дарниця» pills. He proudly rejected my help.

What an arrogant Oldster – I think to myself.…

And I think to myself – What a Wonderful World.

Volodymyr Serdiuk. Kyiv, Ukraine

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драматургія п'єса переклади українських п'єс сучасна українська драматургія читка

Росіяни обговорюють п’єсу сучасного українського драматурга Олега Гончарова

Представники інтелігенції на Росії вже відкритим текстом просять своїх співгромадян, хоч на короткий час вимкнути телевізори та взятися до читання книжок. Кажуть, для мозку це корисніше.