DAMN AGEISM
DAMN AGEISM ACTUALLY
Now I know what this is.
I stand in line at the Territorial Defence local office.
OFFICER: – Next!!!
ME: – … … …
OFFICER: – Sir..?
ME: – What?!!
OFFICER: – You are next.
ME: – Oh, yeah… Do you enlist Veterans for the Active Service here?
OFFICER: – Yes, Sir. What is your Rank?
ME: – Senior Sergeant.
Officer: – Military Specialization?
ME: – ADS.- What..?
OFFICER: – Air Defense Systems.
ME: – All right.
OFFICER: – What is your age?
ME: – In my Military ID, there is a line mentioning which Weapon I mastered.
OFFICER: – What is Your Age, precise?
ME: – Sixty-five. SexTY Five, you know.
OFFICER: – With all my respect, Sir, you would better relax at home at this age.
ME: – I am a good Veteran.
OFFICER: – Not these days, Sir.
ME: – Damn. If you happened to be at Yellow River in the year nineteen seventy-four – I could show you I am a Hot Shot!
OFFICER: – I was not even born then.
ME: – Yippy..!
OFFICER:– Control yourself, Sir.
ME: – I did not say anything obscene!
Officer: – Except yippy.
ME: – Mean, you dancing boogie with your greasy cock shaking on your head.
Officer: – Sounds offensive, Sir.
ME: – Not at all. We usually looked like that those years.
OFFICER: – I see, it was in the times of Pyramid Trousers.
ME: – No. It was in the times of bell-shaped handmade trousers.
OFFICER: – We have no Yellow River in this Country, by the way.
ME: – It flows there overseas.
OFFICER: – Excuse me, Sir, the modern Army can go without you.
ME:– Why?
OFFICER: – Because if I do not understand you, I don’t believe the other soldiers will understand you.
ME: – So..?
OFFICER: – It will be kinda problem communicating with you in the fields, I suppose.
ME: – Means, you will not give me even a rusty AK-47..?
OFFICER: – No, Sir.
ME: – I could…
OFFICER: – Next, please!
The line of Men took a step forward. I have not been pushed away from the office. I left voluntarily making my steps aside and went out.
That was the second day of the Russian Military Invasion, February 25, 2022. Kyiv, Ukraine/
Outside the office, there was another Veteran much older than me. He was trying to mount his bicycle and fell down. I helped him back to his feet and offered him my «Каптопрес-Дарниця» pills. He proudly rejected my help.
What an arrogant Oldster – I think to myself.…
And I think to myself – What a Wonderful World.
Volodymyr Serdiuk. Kyiv, Ukraine